I'm Outta Here

Hey Kids ...

I'm outta here. Blogger is on my last nerve, the last straw being when I somehow "hid" my comments and now can't get them back! I'm over it. I REALLY hope to keep in touch with some of you so please come follow me on Twitter (OhSoStacy) and/or write to me at FatBeGoneStacy@aol.com and I will give you my blackberry address so we can stay in touch while I'm in the hospital etc. I hope to find a blog source that fits with me eventually because I will really miss this. But until then I guess I am back to just emails, phone calls and text messages.

Talk to you soon.

12 days and counting!!!

Counting down and stuff

Well we are 2 weeks, 2 days and a night away from surgery. If I knew what time my surgery was I would be giving you the hours and minutes too. ::vbg::

It's kind of funny but my mind is in two places right now. On one hand I can't help but think of things in terms of "last time I'll have this" and it makes me want to pig out ... but I guess that is where what little common sense I have left kicks in. Yea I am eating some of my favorite foods, but I honestly and truly want to stop there. Meaning I haven't finished anything that I have started eating and I certainly haven't gone back for seconds or raided the frig at night etc. I'm feeling really good about this and I get more and more excited about the surgery every day.

I have an appointment with my regular doctor on Tuesday to talk about switching some of my meds over to liquid form after the surgery. But also I have to be really honest ... I thank God that I have been on the Cymbalta (which was actually an anti depressant first) for the Fibro these past months because I have been so sad about Simba that I didn't know if I would ever stop crying. On top of that, my youngest has broken my heart again. No not even close to like before. And no I don't want or need to talk about it (but thank you). But I know how great I am at sabotaging myself and I could see me using these two "excuses" to eat through every fast food joint in town for the next two weeks and having the surgeon refuse to operate on me! On top of that I have my period AGAIN - a week after the last one! Anyway my point is that I'm glad I'm "on" something to balance things out because I have about a million emotions bouncing around right now and I feel like I could jump out of my skin, lol.


BTW I was watching Big Medicine and I saw a patient with the liver problem that the doctor is doing the biopsy for. First of all ... EWwwwwww ... secondly double Ewwwwww Ewwwwww.

Oh I keep meaning to ask - does anyone take the liquid (or is it powder) vitamins that you mix in water? I think it's "One a Day" that had them first. Has anyone tried them?

18 Days Left to Eat

Well I confess, I had a Whopper today, it was freak'n awesome . .. and I'm not even embarrassed. ::vbeg:: Did you know that those sons of bitches have made cheese filled tatter tots? Lord give me strength. And no I did not have pie or a shake or noth'n .... ya know besides my 1,200 calorie burger ... and a handful of fries. ::G::

Do any of you drink suppliment protein drinks during the day? Anything from Carnation Breakfast, Slim Fast, New Wey, Special K? If you do and there is a line or flavor that you really like, please let me know about it.

I have been doing "Madonna's arm rolls" while I'm sitting, and trying to firm up that lower arm wiggle. Those puppies hurt. I started by doing only 5, then everyday increased by 5 until I got to 75 ... now I do a set of 75 twice a day. I'm also making slow progress on the treadmill and am digging out my Wii fit this weekend! The doctor says I am high risk because of being so immobile and I really need to push it and the blood going in my legs - especially after the surgery.

Do any of you watch "Big Medicine" with the father and son surgeons who do a lot of GBS? I am SOO addicted to this show but it now dropped down to only airing once a week so I had to buy the boxed set - you know if it gets here tomorrow I will watch the entire season and will actually be insane enough to watch it as I am stuffing my Fourth of July wennies and goodies into my mouth. I'm wack like that.

19 days til surgery. ::sigh ... nervous giggle::

HEY does anyone talk to Kristina? Her surgery is on Tuesday isn't it? I would love to hear how she is doing and if she is nervous.

Have a happy, safe, wonderful Fourth of July weekend.

Surgery ... Joey and Stef

Saw the surgeon today. Good news is that during PMS and through all the stress with Simba I lost another 5 pounds, so I didn't get yelled at - in fact I got a bozo button because he said I have lost 9 pounds more then he thought I would. I would love to say "look at me ain't I the shit - but he only expected 6 pounds in 3 months ::G:: so it wasn't exactly difficult to do. Anyway, my surgery date is July 22nd. They are also doing a liver biopsy while they have me on the table because my liver stats looked hinky in the testing. I'm hoping it's just going to be fatty deposits because of my weight because the other two options he gave just don't sound fun at all. He actually said the words "liver transplant" while explaining things to us ... WHY would you say those words to a PMSing woman who can't eat double stuffed oreos?

OMG I have 21 days left to eat ... for the rest of my life. ::vbeg:: What should I have as my "Last Meal"?

I talked to Joey tonight after I got home and of course he is worried about his Mom ... but what really warmed my heart is that Stefanie was with him and asked if she was allowed to come to the hospital the day of my surgery ... and she offered to take me to my pre op admission bloodwork. I just love this girl. My fear is that I'm not lucky enough that my son will actually MARRY someone this sweet. That my getting to know and care about her is just some cruel trick being played on me by the universe. And that he will really end up with some stripper named "Candi Cane"with 6 kids who will hate me and forbid my boy to see me except on Christmas and birthdays ... and only then to collect their presents. ::Wink::

My Poor Simba .... Final surgeon appointment?

::Tears::
My 120 pounds of velcro, Simba died this morning. It has been heartbreaking watching him decline so quickly, but once he was in pain it was truly unbearable . I miss him already and can't imagine waking up tomorrow morning without his gentle nudge.

What I really came to tell you all is that tomorrow is a big day ... I should know my surgery date by the time I leave the doctors office. It's about time, huh? I'll be sure to at least Tweet and let you know so we can start the countdown. ::G::

I'm grateful to have something to obsess on and help get my mind off being so sad.

Back from my bender. ::vbeg::

I'm teasing. There was no food bender. In fact I have lost 17 pounds! They have me cutting out the soda completely, cutting out the fast food and junk and preparing to eat healthy. Plus I bought a treadmill .... so I have been losing a couple of pounds each week. Yeah me.

I did go MIA which most of you know I do from time to time. To say I have been overwhelmed is an understatement ....

* First Ben came home for a month which kept us really busy.

* Bobby and Rhea graduated from R.I.T

* The tests. Many tests and doctors appointments. Since I have posted I have had two sleep studies. They do them in the Sheraton overlooking the city. The first was kind of fun because I had the most adorable tech taking care of me all night and we talked and joked and watched American Idol. The second one was a nightmare ... with a FULL breathing face mask. I didn't take either seriously and only thought of it as something that I had to complete as a requirement for the surgery. Well the other day I had an appointment with the Sleep Apnea doctor. The most gorgeous South African doctor I have ever seen. His accent was intoxicating and I have no idea what he said to me ... except ... I apparently stop breathing 60 times an hour!! Now that still isn't enough to make me wear that Darth Vader mask to bed every night BUT it is enough to scare me into wearing it in the hospital after surgery. He explained to me that between being put under and the pain medication that my sleep apnea could be a very serious condition the hours right after surgery. So I gave in (I would have stripped naked and danced on this mans desk if he had asked me to! ::G::) and agreed to be fitted for my very own mask. Which you KNOW I will be adding stones and bling to!

More test: EKG and evaluation with the heart doctor. She said I was good and strong but saw something minor that she thought called for a stress echo to make sure I can withstand the surgery.

The stress echo was not half as bad as I thought. The highlight of my day was when the doc told me that they were having a difficult time getting a clear ultrasound of my heart because my breasts are so large. (thank you, thank you very much!) ::sigh:: Anyway, my resting heart beat is so dam high that I only had to do 4 minutes on the treadmill. For a normal person that may not be much but for Miss Fibromyalgia ass it was like a days hike up a mountain. But I got it done. Boobies flap'n in the breeze and all.

Also: The Shrink. $275 out of my pocket (I was SO mad about that) and they told me what I already know - I medicate with food. Gee, ya think?

Another follow up with the surgeon and a nutritionist to be sure I have tappered my food and am still serious about the surgery.

What I have left to complete is the acutal appointment to go have my face measured for the mask and that is on Monday. And a final appointment with the surgeon on the 30th. We are thinking the surgery with be sometime in the first two weeks of July. Keep your fingers crossed for me please ... I am so tired of preparing and just want to DO IT!


* I have been spending some time with Joey's girlfriend Stefanie and getting to know her. I absolutely adore this girl and if my son ever breaks up with her I am thinking of keeping her instead. ::G:: She looks just like Anna Pacquin from "True Blood" ... ok ok ok, I'm the only one that thinks that. Even she and Joey don't see it like I do. But she's a cutie and sweet and so good for my kid. I couldn't be happier for him.

* And lastly something that is totally breaking my heart (and my back literally). My big dog (120 pounds) Simba has Lyme disease and has lost the use of his back legs. The vet thinks it will improve drastically with the medications ... and he is on pain pills to keep him comfortable ... but I have to take him in and out of the house (and down 3 steps) with a sling holding his hind end up every couple of hours and it's just killing me - emotionally and physically. This dog is my fierce protector and has been with me for 10 years, I can't imagine losing him.

So that's my update. I'm hoping life has slowed down enough around here that I can get back to blogging everyday. I have so many thoughts/concerns that I want to talk about here concerning the surgery. It seems like the closer it gets the more excited I get but also the more worried if I am doing the right thing.

What have I missed on YOUR end?? What is going on with everyone? Please leave me a comment or send me an email and tell me what is going on in your life and what I have missed out on.

R.I.P Stanley the bad bad snake

Just a quick "hi". I didn't have any pre-op testing this week thankfully. But I do have the first Gastric Bypass support group meeting next week which I can't wait to go to. I want to hear if weeks or months out if anyone says they regret it. And how they deal with issues like the whole "non drinking" thing which has me really freaked out.

Ben comes home this weekend so we are all running around like chickens without their heads trying to get things ready for him. The last I heard we are going to have him for 15 days but that seemed to changed moment to moment.

Oh and I killed a snake today!! I know, I know - the crazy home zoo keeper killing one of God's creators - believe me, it wasn't easy. BUT it was slithering toward my babies (chihuahuas) and "Go get out of here" just wasn't working ... so I detached his head with a hoe and smashed his heart with a rock. ::g:: And how was your day?